THE WORLD FAMOUS LOONEY LETTERS COLLECTION
CLEAN*** WHOLESOME*** HILARIOUS
Entertainment for ALL of your parties, banquets, meetings, conventions
Have Your Party Audience Rolling With Laughter
YEAR ROUND ENTERTAINMENT FOR ANY OF YOUR PARTIES
*******NOT AVAILABLE ANYWHERE ELSE*******
Did you know that laughing releases natural pain killers in the brain called
"ENDORPHINES?" This is probably what Proverbs 17:22 means: "A merry heart doeth good like a medicine."
A Stanford University professor says laughter is actually as good for your physical well being as it is for your outlook. Among other things laughter makes your heart beat faster, increases your blood flow, cleanses your eyes with tears, relaxes your muscles, and helps your immune system boost the activity of cancer fighting cells.
Laughing 100 times a day offers the same cardio-vascular workout as 10 minutes
of rowing.
Source: Robin Fulton Manly
Health and Fitness News Service
Make your party audience ROLL WITH LAUGHTER using the highly advertised LOONEY LETTERS COLLECTION. These are seven very wholesome entertainment letters that have been enjoyed world wide to entertain audiences. Listed below is what you will receive and a sample of each.
MY FRIEND: I feel the need to insert this NOTICE at this time. Due to the fact that we have had some EXPENSIVE AND DISCOURGING experiences with so called "encrypted secure ordering forms and shopping carts." we only take orders by U.S. mail. The WORLD FAMOUS LOONEY LETTERS COLLECTION is shipped the next day after payment is received. If you have a problem with this type of ordering perhaps you should delete this site at this time.
THANK YOU FOR YOUR PATIENCE.
1. ACTUAL ANNOUNCEMENTS TAKEN FROM CHURCH
BULLTINS {15 of these}
Sample: At the evening service tonight the sermon topic will be: "What is Hell?" Come
early and listen to our choir practice.
2. GRANDMA'S LETTER
Sample: Pete was taking the cows to water and when they went across the bridge one
fell through and strained her milk. Now she has hiccups once a week and
churns her own butter.
3. WACKY BUT TRUE AUTO CLAIMS SUBMITTD TO
INSURANCE COMPANIES {16 of these}
Sample: "I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law, and
headed over the embankment."
4. NEW COMPANY RULES
Sample: DEATH: {your own} This will be accepted as an excuse, but we would like a
two weeks notice as we believe it is your duty to train someone else to do
your job.
5. EXCUSES ACTUALLY RECEIVED BY SCHOOL TEACHERS
FROM THE PARENT OF CHILDREN {22 of these}
Samples: Please excuse Dianne from being absent yesterday. She was in bed with
gramps.
Please excuse Ray from school Friday. He had very loose vowels.
6. THE B.C. PROBLEM
Sample: A newly married couple rented a home in the mountains of North Carolina.
The young wife discovered the home did not have a bathroom commode. The wife
wrote the landlord, but being ashamed to write bathroom commode, she used
the letters "BC." Here is where the fun begins when the landlord writes his
letter to her thinking "BC" meant Baptist Church.
7. HUMOR ON THE SLOPES
Sample: When you stop on the slopes for a "potty break", be sure you know how to
position your ski's.
We know you are going to LOVE these crazy entertainment letters. To receive yours please
send your check or money order for only $12.95 plus $2.05 postage and handling {$15.00 total} to:
***BREAKING NEWS*** Order by July 31, 2002, 1200 midnight CST, for ONLY $10.00. This saves you $5.00. Money back guarantee still applies if you are not completely satisfied.
You should receive your order approx. 7 days after we receive your check or money order so plan to order in time for your party or banquet.
Please make your check or money order out to: R. Joseph Lawrence. This is the way the account for Jita Dimensions is set up.
Jita Dimensions
THE LOONEY LETTERS COLLECTION
Attn. R. Joseph Lawrence
jita@granbury.com
4930 Blue Water Circle
Granbury, Texas 76049-1751
Orders outside the United States please add $1.25 to the above total.
REMEMBER THIS IS THE ONLY PLACE YOU CAN GET THESE SO DON'T DELAY. ORDER TODAY!
TESTIMONIALS:
We used the Looney Letters, New Company Rules, at our management Christmas party. We
thought we might have to call an ambulance for our president because he laughed so much.
R. Sanchez NM
Last Christmas our church used the BC Problem at our party. We had over 300 nearly crying
from laughter. Great entertainment. C. Caldwell MN.
I was in charge of entertainment for the retirement party of a high executive of our company. I was a nervous wreck trying to come up with entertainment. We used several of the Looney Letters Collection. Our audience could not get enough. Thank you for this clean form of entertainment. J. Miller, FL
Super form of entertainment. Our insurance company used the Auto Claims letter for our Valentines Party. It was so successful we will use them again for our Thanksgiving party.
T. Sellers, TX.
Our hospital Christmas party was a big success using the Looney Letters Collection. I was put in charge of entertainment for our New Years Eve party. I know what I will use for entertainment. H. Tidwell, AR.
I have never seen anything so funny and clean as these Looney Letters. I can't wait to use them at our next family Christmas party. W. Rogers, NC.
The senior pilots of our airline used these hilarious Looney Letters at our summer family
picnic. Since many of the wives were school teachers, we used the Excuses sent to teachers. Our total crowd was about 400 counting children. They were begging for more. I highly recommend these Looney Letters for any type of entertainment. P. Wheeler, NY.
DON'T DELAY! ORDER TODAY!
P.S. PLEASE, POR FAVOR, Sign our "GUEST BOOK". It will be greatly appreciated. Thank you. |