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| ON THE BOTTOM U WILL SEE THE BST Yo Mama Snaps!!!!!! ____________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ Yo momma so old I told her to act her own age, and the bitch died. Yo momma so old she has Jesus' beeper number! Yo momma so old her social security number is 1! Yo momma so old that when God said let the be light, she hit the switch. Yo momma so old that when she was in school there was no history class. Yo momma so old she owes Jesus 3 bucks! Yo momma so old she's in Jesus's yearbook! Yo momma so old she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook. Yo momma so old her birth certificate says expired on it. Yo momma so old she knew Burger King while he was still a prince. Yo momma so old she was a waitress at the Last Supper. Yo momma so old she ran track with dinosaurs. Yo momma so old her birth certificate is in Roman numerals. Yo momma so old she sat behind Jesus in the third grade. Yo momma so old and stupid she knew the Virgin Mary when she was 10 and said, "Li'l Mary will never amount to anything". Yo momma so old she was Jesus Wet Nurse. Yo momma so old shes blind from the big bang. Yo momma so old even God calls her mother! Yo momma so old her ass is a cave for Indians. Yo momma so old she gives powered milk! Yo momma so old she got a senior citizen discount when movies were only a nickle. Yo momma so old the old age home told her to talk to the morgue. Yo momma so bald even a wig wouldn't help! Yo momma so bald you can see whats on her mind. Yo momma so bald that she took a shower and got brain-washed. Yo momma so bald that when she wears a turtleneck, she looks like a snapped condom. Yo momma so bald that when she wears a turlteneck, she looks like a roll on deodorant. Yo momma so bald a fly landed on her head and sprained his ankle. Yo momma so blind she has one of her eyes stuck up her ass and she still can't see shit!! Yo momma so dark she went to night school and was marked absent! Yo momma so dark she spits chocolate milk! Yo momma so dark that she can leave fingerprints on charcoal. Yo momma so dark she has to wear white gloves when she eats Tootsie Rolls to keep from eating her fingers. Yo momma so dark when people refer to Darkness comming in the future they refer to her next visit. Yo momma so dark they made a movie of her heart transplant called "From the darkest heart of Africa". Yo momma so dark when the cops shot at her, the bullets came back for flashlights. Yo momma so dark when she takes a bath she makes tea. Yo momma so dark that when she gets into the car, the oil light comes on. Yo momma so dark she sweats coffee. Yo momma so dark she needs a license to drink white milk. Yo momma so dark that when she smiles, it looks like a domino. Yo momma so dark, she bleeds smoke. Yo momma so dirty she has to creep up on bathwater. Yo momma so dirty I walked in and a roach was being eaten by the food! Yo momma so dirty even Tide won't take the challenge! Yo momma so dirty even her pubes have split ends. Yo momma so dirty she grows daisies in her butt crack. Yo momma so dirty the mice eat her cheese. Yo momma so fat when her beeper goes off, people thought she was backing up. Yo momma so fat her nickname is "DAMN". Yo momma so fat she eats Wheat Thicks. Yo momma so fat were in her right now. Yo momma so fat people jog around her for exercise. Yo momma so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone. Yo momma so fat she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors. Yo mamma so fat you haveta roll over twice to get off her... Yo momma so fat she was floating in the ocean and spain claimed her for then new world. Yo momma so fat she lay on the beach and people run around yelling Free Willy. Yo momma so fat when you get on top of her your ears pop! Yo momma so fat when she has sex, she has to give directions! Yo momma so fat she goes to a resturant, looks at the menu and says "okay!" Yo momma so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat, people said "Taxi!". Yo momma so fat she had to go to Sea World to get baptized. Yo momma so fat she got to iron her pants on the driveway. Yo momma so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller. Yo momma so fat she got to pull down her pants to get into her pockets. Yo momma so fat when she tripped over on 4th Ave, she landed on 12th. Yo momma so fat when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too. Yo momma so fat the highway patrol made her wear "Caution! Wide Turn". Yo momma so fat when she sits around the house, she SITS AROUND THE HOUSE! Yo momma so fat when she steps on a scale, it read "one at a time, please". Yo momma so fat when she sits on my face I can't hear the stereo. Yo momma so fat she fell in love and broke it. Yo momma so fat when she gets on the scale it says to be continued. Yo momma so fat when she gets on the scale it says we don't do livestock. Yo momma so fat her neck looks like a pair of hot dogs! Yo momma so fat she's got her own area code! Yo momma so fat she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagon! Yo momma so fat God couldn't light Earth till she moved! Yo momma so fat NASA has to orbit a satellite around her! Yo momma so fat whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in! Yo momma so fat when she plays hopscotch, she goes New York, L.A., Chicago... Yo momma so fat she's got Amtrak written on her leg. Yo momma so fat even Bill Gates couldn't pay for her liposuction! Yo momma so fat her legs is like spoiled milk - white & chunky! Yo momma so fat you have to roll her ass in flour and look for the wet spot to fuck her! Yo momma so fat I had to take a train and two buses just to get on the bitch's good side! Yo momma so fat she wakes up in sections! Yo momma so fat when she goes to an amusement park, people try to ride HER! Yo momma so fat she sat on a quarter and a booger shot out of George Washington's nose. Yo momma so fat she was mistaken for God's bowling ball! Yo momma so fat she rolled over 4 quarters and it made a dollar! Yo momma so fat when she lies on the beach no one else gets sun! Yo momma so fat when she bungee jumps she goes straight to hell! Yo momma so fat when she jumps up in the air she gets stuck! Yo momma so fat she's got more Chins than a Hong Kong phone book! Yo momma so fat that her senior pictures had to be arial views! Yo momma so fat she's on both sides of the family! Yo momma so fat everytime she walks in high heels, she strikes oil! Yo momma so fat she fell and made the Grand Canyon! Yo momma so fat she sat on the beach and Greenpeace threw her in! Yo momma so fat that when she hauls ass, she has to make two trips! Yo momma so fat even her clothes have stretch marks! Yo momma so fat she has a wooden leg with a kickstand! Yo momma so fat she has to use a VCR as a beeper! Yo momma so fat she broke her leg, and gravy poured out! Yo momma so fat when she rides in a hot air balloon, it looks like she's wearin tights! Yo momma so fat she got hit by a parked car! Yo momma so fat they have to grease the bath tub to get her out! Yo momma so fat she has a run in her blue-jeans! Yo momma so fat they use the elastic in her underwear for bungee jumping. Yo momma so fat when they used her underwear elastic for bungee jumping, they hit the ground. Yo momma so fat when she back up she beep. Yo momma so fat she has to buy two airline tickets. Yo momma so fat when she fell over she rocked herself asleep trying to get up again. Yo momma so fat she influences the tides. Yo momma so fat that when I tried to drive around her I ran out of gas. Yo momma so fat the animals at the zoo feed her. Yo momma so fat she was baptized at Marine World. Yo momma so fat when she dances at a concert the whole band skips. Yo momma so fat she stands in two time zones. Yo momma so fat it takes her two trips to haul ass. Yo momma so fat you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side just to get her through. Yo momma so fat when she goes to an all you can eat buffet, they have to install speed bumps. Yo momma so fat that she cant tie her own shoes. Yo momma so fat sets off car alarms when she runs. Yo momma so fat she cant reach her back pocket. Yo momma so fat when she wears a Malcomn X T-shirt, helicopters try to land on her back! Yo momma so fat she uses redwoods to pick her teeth. Yo momma so fat the only pictures you have of her are satellite pictures. Yo momma so fat she put on some BVD's and by the time they reached her waist they spelled out boulevard. Yo momma so fat she stepped on a rainbow and made Skittles. Yo momma so fat she uses a mattress for a tampon. Yo momma so fat that she would have been in E.T., but when she rode the bike across the moon, the bitch caused an eclipse. Yo momma so fat she hoola-hooped the Super Bowl. Yo momma so fat she was baptised in the ocean. Yo momma so fat they tie a rope around her shoulders and drag her through a tunnel when they want to clean it. Yo momma so fat when she got hit by a bus, she said, "Who threw that rock?" Yo momma so fat when she stands in a left-turn lane it gives her the green arrow! Yo momma so fat that when whe was born, she gave the hospital stretch marks. Yo momma so fat the National Weather Agency has to assign names to her farts! Yo momma so fat we went to the drive-in and didn't have to pay because we dressed her as a Chevrolet. Yo momma so fat she was Miss Arizona -- class Battleship. Yo momma so fat she accidently got a 747 caught in her teeth. Yo momma so fat to her "light food" means under 4 Tons. Yo momma so fat The Himalayas are practices runs to prepare for her. Yo momma so fat she went on a date with high heels on and came back with sandals!!! Yo momma so fat she stepped on a talking scale and it told her to get the fuck off!!! Yo momma so fat and stupid, her waist size is larger than her IQ!!! Yo momma so fat she was zoned for commercial development. Yo momma so fat she won "Miss Bessie the Cow 94". Yo momma so fat she has her own brand of jeans: FA - FatAss Jeans. Yo momma so fat she has more rolls than a mary jane truck. Yo momma so fat she has her own zip code. Yo momma so fat she wears two watches because she's in two time zones! Yo momma so fat she thought gravy was a beverage. Yo momma so fat I took her to a dance and the band skipped. Yo momma so fat we went to Mt. Rushmore and didnt know who's face to sit on. Yo momma so fat I took her to dinner and the waitress took her order in shorthand. Yo momma so fat she had to get out of bed to roll over. Yo momma so fat Thanksgiving day she ate dinner for 6 hours, then said "I am going to walk this meal off" I said "Call me when you get to Brazil". Yo momma so fat she has to wear a hat with a blinking red light to scare off the airplanes. Yo momma so fat she reminds me of a toilet bowl! Short, round, full of water and full of shit! Yo momma so fat that she may collapse under her own gravity and form a new black hole. Not even light will escape! Yo momma so fat she was stopped by police dogs at the airport for having 300 lbs of crack under her dress. Yo momma so fat when I first met her she was standing on the corner Granville and 41st, 42nd, 43rd, and 44th streets. Yo momma so fat when she turns around, her friends give a welcome home party! Yo momma so fat when she wears a stripes shirt, people call her Saturn. Yo momma so fat she keeps her diaphram in a pizza box. Yo momma so fat if she wears a red dress and goes outside, all of the kids yell "Kool-aid!". Yo momma so fat she wanted to become an astronaut, but there wasn't enought room for the satalite. Yo momma so fat she's on both sides of the family tree. Yo momma so fat she broke the family tree! Yo momma so fat she used pillow cases as socks! Yo momma so fat she needs a forklift to get out of bed. Yo momma so fat her waist line is the equator. Yo momma so fat her blood type is Ragu! Yo momma so fat she uses hula-hoops to hold up her socks! Yo momma so fat you can take her to the beach and sell her for shade! Yo momma so fat when she walks you can't see her lags and looks like she's gliding across the floor! Yo momma so fat her roller skates went flat! Yo momma so fat she takes her shower at Niagara Falls! Yo momma so fat the last time she saw 90210 was on the scale! Yo momma so fat she went to Sizzler and they gave her a group discount! Yo momma so fat when she moons somebody, it's a total eclipse! Yo momma so fat it's a good workout when you climb one of her zits! Yo momma so fat when she pops a zit, everybody thinks Mt. St. Hellens erupted! Yo momma so fat even Richard Simmons said "DAMN"! Yo momma so fat even Richard Simmons won't help her! Yo momma so fat she makes the Good Year blimp look small. Yo momma so fat that when she sat on a rock, the whole Earth went up her ass. Yo momma so fat at partys she makes her own congo line. Yo mamma so fat when she jumps off the CN Tower she just bounces back up. Yo momma so fat when turns around they give her a welcome back party. Yo momma is so fat that she took you and yo 3 brothers to taco bell, she told the cashier "I want 6 burritos, 8 taco supremes, 4 large cokes, and 5 enchiladas." then she turned and said "Now what ya'll want?" Yo momma so flat she's jealous of the wall! Yo momma so flat that when she puts her bra on backwards, it fits better! Yo momma so flat when you ask her if she had no feet, would she wear shoes, and she says no, you say then why do you wear a bra? Yo momma so flat she wear suspenders just to keep her bra up. Yo momma so flat she's worse than a 50 year old soda. Yo momma's glasses are so thick that when she looks on a map she can see people waving. Yo momma's glasses are so thick she can see into the future. Yo momma got so many freckles she looks like a hamburger! Yo momma got two wooden legs and one is one backward. Yo momma got three fingers and a banjo. Yo momma got a wooden leg with a kickstand on it. Yo momma got a bald head with a part and sideburns. Yo momma got a' afro, wit' a chin strap!!!! Yo momma got a wooden leg with branches. Yo momma got so many teeth missing, it looks like her tounge is in jail. Yo momma got a metal afro with rusty sideburns. Yo momma got eyes in her butt talking about "Damn, did you see that shit?!" Yo momma got a face like a bulldog licking piss off a nettle? Yo momma got a face like half a pound of smacked twat and a hairy pie. Yo momma got a face like a burglar's dog!! Yo momma got a face like the south end of a north-bound camel. Yo momma got a face like someone has been chopping sticks on her face ... and left the axe in! Yo momma got a face like a welder's bench. Yo momma got a face like a blind cobbler's thumb. Yo momma got a face like a bag of chisels. Yo momma got a face like a bag of smashed arseholes. Yo momma got a face like a half-sucked mango. Yo momma got eyeballs in her kneecaps & her name's Neicee. Yo momma got no legs & her name's Contsuelo. Yo momma got more rolls than a bakery. Yo momma got one arm and she swims in a circle. Yo momma so greasy she used bacon as a band-aid! Yo momma so greasy she sweats Crisco! Yo momma so greasy Texaco buys Oil from her. Yo momma so greasy someone stabbed her and she was an oil well! Yo momma so greasy when she slid for second base she ended up in Detroit. Yo momma hair so short when she braided it they looked like stiches. Yo momma hair so short she curls it with rice. Yo momma hair so short, you can see what she's thinking! Yo momma so hairy you almost died of rugburn at birth! Yo momma so hairy she's got afros on her nipples! Yo momma so hairy she look like she got Buchwheat in a headlock. Yo momma so hairy Bigfoot is taking her picture! Yo momma so hairy she wears a Nike tag on her weave so now everybody calls her Hair Jordan. Yo momma so hairy she looks like a Chia Pet with an afro! Yo momma so hairy she shaves with a weedwhacker. Yo momma so hairy I get rug burn when I hug her! Yo momma so ugly juvei said cover that face up! Yo momma so stupid I gave her a ride then i said i need some gas...so she farted! |
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